Do you spend time daydreaming about what could be but never get down to achieving those dreams?
It is crucial to have dreams so you know where you’re heading and can set goals. Otherwise, you won’t have the focus you need to be able to move yourself forward.
However, it is all too easy to keep those goals in the dreamworld and not do anything to achieve them. We self-sabotage with what we tell ourselves, allowing messages from the past to create blocks and fears that hinder us on our path.
Why do we need goals?
What is the point of having goals in the first place?
- To gain clarity and focus.
- To achieve.
- To stretch ourselves.
- To provide direction.
How do we sabotage ourselves?
It’s so easy to sabotage ourselves immediately when we start to even think about setting goals, without having set any!
I hear so many times, I’d love to do <insert goal here> but …
- I don’t deserve it.
- I won’t to be able to do it.
- I couldn’t do that at school, so I’ll still be as bad now.
- I’ll get it wrong.
- I haven’t got enough money to do it.
- My partner won’t like it if I do that.
What keeps you blocked from achieving your goals?
No matter how hard you try, sometimes it seems impossible beyond the identifying the goal stage. There could be a number of reasons for that.
- Childhood scripts
It may be that you were always put down as a child and you were never encouraged. Probably, you were told you weren’t academic or sporty or whatever, so you wouldn’t be able to do it. No point in even trying!
- Barriers you erect.
‘It’s only me, I’m not good enough to be able to do that.’ Maybe you feel you don’t deserve success or wealth.
Of failure, of success, of making a mistake. These fears can keep us doing what we’ve always done so we feel safe. Frequently, unhappy but at least we feel safe!
What if I told you that this could all be different if you changed your mindset?
What is mindset and why is it important?
Your mindset is how you think about things. These thoughts will guide your actions and if you aren’t aware of them, they will stop you from achieving anything!
In 1997,after a holiday in Majorca when I’d been chatting with a French-speaking Swiss guy, I decided I wanted to use my French at work. Luckily, I didn’t question myself, I just went for it. My mindset was ‘this is going to be great and it’s all going to work out well.’ I could have easily talked myself out of it before I’d even started by saying to myself:
- You won’t be able to find a job.
- Will your French be good enough? and so on.
But I didn’t and everything worked out well. I worked at Moore Stephens International in London and sometimes France for six-and-a-half years.
Having a positive mindset that it would all work out well kept me going!
I understand that it may not be that easy. However, become more aware of what you are telling yourself and start changing your language.
Follow your dreams
I was on a discovery call a few weeks ago with an accountant who is thinking of changing direction. I said to her that the good thing about being an accountant is that you have so many avenues you can choose. I said to her, start with a mindmap and put down on it any ideas that come to you. Think about different careers that would bring you joy. Do this from the heart not the head, otherwise you’ll stop yourself from thinking freely about what you’re passionate about. She really enjoyed this exercise and found it was very useful to have her options down in the form of a mind map.
What you can do to achieve
Be aware of your self-talk and stop yourself if you’re putting yourself down. Also only share your dreams with people who you can trust not to burst your bubble.
I hear this all the time when I’m troubleshooting with clients or mentoring people.
- I’d love to do this, but my partner would think I was mad.
- What would the neighbours say?
Don’t even go there until you have a more solid dream and a way of achieving it.
Start with thoughts. Think about something on your list that you’re not doing. What’s the emotion attached to the thought? What’s the action and result of this emotion? It’s a clever exercise and really thought provoking. Maybe give it a go!
Our mindset and its power over us can’t be overestimated. It really is the difference between success and failure. I’d recommend being aware of yours and seeing how your energy is affected when you change your mindset and make it more positive.
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